pataboo:

chlorinesea:

the-life-quixotic:

demoncolbert:

synorama:

Don’t ride your bike straight into a fence. Don’t jump into a kiddy pool with full force. Don’t be a clumsy dumbass while walking on the sidewalk. Don’t be a clumsy 19 year old who still can’t ride her own bike without getting fucked…

Why does reblogging fail completely like this sometimes? Should I be getting missing e finally?

Anyway, I have a scar on my forehead from when Voldemort tried to kill me as a baby I mean, I knocked over a mailbox with my face.

Hmmm, lets seeee…. Umm, do not go near the neighbor’s dog…. hmmm, do not go near the neighbor’s dog…. uhhhhh, do not go near the neighbor’s dog…. er, do not go near the neighbor’s dog…. hmmm, uhhh, umm, OH! Do not go near the neighbor’s dog…. like, do not go near the neighbor’s dog…. ahhhh, do not go near the neighbor’s dog…. euh, do not go near the neighbor’s dog…….. AAAaaannnnd! Having a seam ripping race was not the smartest of ideas. Oh and plus, do not go near the neighbor’s dog.

Uhh okay, don’t ride your bike fast to downhill on a gravel road, you might do some failed barrel rolling if you hit a hole with the bike, don’t also go visiting any dude even if s/he’d be your best friend ever if s/he has a violent professional hunting dog in her/his house that has just had puppies, it’s gonna be bloody especially if the ninja dog hits your face when you’re taking your shoes off, don’t walk on the pile of firewood if there’s planks with pointy nails in them, and don’t jump against a coat rack.